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by Jeff Greenwald, M.A., MFT.
Once I acknowledged the importance of pursuing an alternative
path—one that forced me to pay more attention to my internal experience
than on the actual outcome—I became intrigued with the perspective
that we might all have more choice than we realize over how we perform
moment-to-moment. I thought, “Could we actually choose to focus
on other things, besides the outcome, that would be more helpful,
even rewarding?" What I discovered is that this quest alone, and,
ultimately, the subsequent choices we make from it, can boost confidence
simply because we are taking power back into our hands. In many
ways, for me, I felt as though I was on a more intriguing, and perhaps,
more satisfying mission.
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| Ever wonder
why great players like Andre Agassi and Roger Federer, more
often than not, seem to pull out those tight three set matches.
Could the reason be as simple as they choose to? |
At the same time, I reasoned, if we could actually choose
to prioritize our internal feeling state and embrace the moment-to-moment
excitement of competition during a match—breathing in a relaxed
way, visualizing specific strokes or targets, and shifting our perspective
from time to time—over and above winning or losing, then, I thought,
I might, ironically, win even more than before.
Interestingly, what started to emerge out of this was
that my fear of losing or not playing well actually morphed into
concern over NOT going for my shots, playing loosely, and stepping
up at crunch time. That is, knowing that I might be choosing to
back off the ball and playing tentatively became unacceptable under
this new paradigm. My old patterns started to shift before my eyes.
The thought of winning or losing was becoming background noise.
Such thoughts as, “I have to win this” or “this would be a big win”
shifted to “just let it go” and “one point at time” among others
(“I love this”, “enjoy this match,” “It's never over until it's
over.”).
These thoughts were really emerging from the choices
I was making every match---to go for my shots and focus on being
a competitor in the present moment rather than a player anxious
about a result in the future.
In a short time, through my mental coaching work with other players
and personal experiences on and off the court, I began to notice
how much more additional mental space we have when we stop obsessing
over the outcome or our mistakes.
“What are we able to do,” I thought, “when we choose to be more
present and less preoccupied with what isn't working?” What I discovered
is that we have the opportunity to enjoy the feeling of hitting
the ball and becoming more present in the moment. When we choose
to keep our attention more present in our body, we can hit the ball
more cleanly. In other words, our sensory experience deepens. When
we choose to be present like this, we make technical adjustments
naturally. When we allow our bodies to reveal the information we
need and not over think our shots, we are simply less in our head.
Our muscle memory has the chance to become more automatic because
we are operating from a physical, more tactile place, than simply
thoughts. However, powerful “cue words” (short backswing, weight
forward) or short visuals of correct strokes, can certainly ignite
this muscle memory and serve as useful reminders.
When we choose to keep our attention more present
in our body, we can hit the ball more cleanly. |
As I fine-tuned specific shots (my inside-out forehand, backhand
down the line, mixing up and adding pace to my first serve by relaxing
my arm), I also chose to tinker with my physical tension levels—namely,
being loose—and practiced playing with what I believed to be an
optimal level of arousal. I am helping others do the same.
When players are returning serve, for example, I have them scan
their body and literally “call up” the feeling of “looseness” that
they feel is ideal for them. I have players “drop” their minds down
into their arms and become aware of their muscle tension. If there
is some tension, I have them breathe it out or simply try to let
go into the moment. More than anything, it becomes a feeling of
letting go; letting go of their tendency to want to control the
shot and outcome of the point.
Many players learn to access this feeling of “looseness” and choose
to hold this as a priority over the outcome. Then, I have them choose
to hit the ball the way they commit to—aggressiveness with intention.
This commitment to go for their shots on important points, regardless
of the outcome, can be challenging at first, but it is one they
eventually learn to value over and above everything else. Their
bodies don't always follow suit every match at first, but it does
get measurably better over time. Eventually, a fearless mind-set
does emerge with practice.
Fortunately, I chose to shift my mind-set in a similar way in a
critical league match playing for the club championship in Hamburg,
Germany a few years ago. I was up against a player fifteen years
my junior, in the deciding match for our team. I was down 5-2 in
the third-set, all too aware that I was playing tentatively and
would lose the match if I didn't change something.
In that moment, I acknowledged that I was backing off the return
and trying to play it safe. I didn't know what would happen if I
chose to step in and hit through the ball and really go for it,
but I knew that I had to make this choice. So, I chose to attack
the ball even though I was feeling a little tight and not in a terribly
trusting place. But, I made the decision with intention.
I hit a winner on my first return. I then hit a very aggressive
return on the next point and won that point, too. Within seconds
my anxiety turned into positive adrenaline and I felt a surge of
confidence. It was all I needed to race back and win the set 7-5
in the third only to hear him scream, “How can I lose to an old
man?” in German.
What happened? I made a choice to hit through the ball and go for
my shots even though I was feeling somewhat apprehensive. I chose
to play the way I wanted and, admittedly, needed to. It doesn't
always work out this way but at least I made the decision to play
the way I knew I could. Sometimes the decision is all we need. If
it doesn't work out, that's fine. More than likely, good things
are right around the corner when you adopt this attitude.
We're all forced to make multiple choices everyday. Often we can
approach these choices from a mind-set of fear, apprehension, and
worry about the outcome. When we truly recognize that we have more
influence over our mind-set than we may have acknowledged, we can
make new choices that are more in line with our values. We can choose
how we want to hit the ball, regardless of our anxiety in the moment,
choose to view competition as an exciting opportunity to play full
out, we can even choose many of the thoughts that enter our mind.
There is a moment when you must
choose between going for your shots or playing in fear. |
Exercising this choice on the court or in our lives takes awareness
and an interest in our personal development. By choosing many of
our thoughts and tossing out the negative ones, and playing in a
way that is in concert with our values, we have the opportunity
to transcend old, worn-out beliefs and play the game of tennis and
life at a much higher level. And, by the way, you may begin to win
more without even thinking about it.
As you contemplate choosing to move into a more fearless mind-set,
I think it's important to first acknowledge how much your mind is
mired in the world of outcome. If it is, and you honestly believe
that the scale is tipped too far in this direction, you should ask
yourself, “What am I really trying to achieve in this game?” If
it's to get better and beat particular players, that's fine, but
ask yourself one more question, “Am I playing too tentatively or
unfocused?” If so, the path I've described above is definitely for
you.
This is a moment where you need to begin getting excited about
following a new path in this game. It's a time for you to step into
your own power, your ability to make choices that reflect a different
set of values—performance over outcome— and commit to this
process for the next 30 days. Once you've done this you are
ready to move forward on the exciting path toward fearless
tennis.
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